Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Haiku Cat Master Cat Food Breath

Such a large tummy/ I can't wash it all at once/ A squeegee would help. -- Cat Food Breath

The funniest cat on
Twitter now has a website. That's right: Cat Food Breath is now entertaining supplicants at more than 140 characters. Those of you who resist Twitter & Facebook can partake of the wit & wisdom of a 17-pound Siamese with a sushi habit. CFB stays au courant, as well, so #OccupytheCouch is now part of the Twitterverse.

CFB brightens our day with pithy one-liners, haiku (original & um, reworked), & philosophical asides, even fashion advice (accessorize with cat fur. It's gonna happen anyway). Not a day goes by without a laugh-out-loud moment. Or several. This is not a one-sided affair either; CFB will gladly converse with you & set you straight as to who is the boss. Be sure to use the word 'cute' in any reference to CFB, it will smooth the way. Here is a
funny interview that CFB gave to the lovely author of paper bag & string (& of the website Careers For Your Cat, more about which soon).

What follows are some original haiku by the master. Read in bemused tone as if to an oaf. Used by permission.

Has your cat been fed?/ Don't let the bowl stay empty/ Kitty needs food now.

Are you wearing black? / Accessorize with cat fur/ You will look stunning.

Quit hogging the bed/ You are always on my side/ I need more pillows.

Where's my crunchy food? / My bowl seems to be empty/ Fill it now or else.


(photograph with kind courtesy of CFB)